Dan Vs The Duggars
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: A crossover between Dan Vs. and 19 Kids and Counting. Dan ends up meeting America's favorite reality show family after a total accident involving Dan's car. After one huge altercation, Dan is now forced to spend an entire month trapped in the Duggar household with no place to entertain himself. That only means one thing for Dan to do on a time like this: REVENGE! Chapter 2 is up!
1. Ch 1: Dan Meets The Duggars

**"Dan Vs. The Duggars"**

 **Rated T for language  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with "Dan Vs." or that horrible awful show "19 Kids and Counting". "Dan Vs." and its characters are owned by Starz Media and "19 Kids and Counting" is owned (used to be owned) by The Learning Channel. Anyway, I thought of this not too long ago, and it's a crossover between Dan Vs. and one of my most hated shows of all time, 19 Kids and Counting. Hard to believe they're both owned by it's sister station, the Discovery Channel. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!**

 **P.S.: This is to all the Duggar bashers. I think you'll all be satisfied.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Dan Meets The Duggars  
**

* * *

Dan Mandel was busy slaving away at his bed in one Pasadena morning.

But he wasn't alone however. Sleeping beside him was Dan's trusty confidant and pet cat, Mr. Mumbles. There was no way Dan would ever leave Mr. Mumbles to sleep alone at the dead of night. If that happened, Mr. Mumbles would feel lonely in the dark. It's a good thing Dan kept in a night-light for him to sleep easily.

But when that alarm clock rang out...

...

...

...Mr. Mumbles ended up scratching Dan's face!

"AUUUUGH!" Dan screamed in pain. "Get off me!"

Suddenly, he shoved the cat out of the bed and got up. Dan ended up touching his face, which made him yelp pretty badly. Of course, it wasn't very surprising since it hurt every frickin' time. Some of them were minor, and some of them were so bad, Dan had to tape himself in order to make those deep scratches go away. Dan was bracing for the worst to happen to him the first time he entered the bathroom mirror.

But to be honest, the scratches Dan suffered wasn't bad at all. Not one of them glistened a lot of blood, which was good for the malcontent.

"Well, you got lucky this time, Mr. Mumbles." Dan said to his cat. "Not one drop of blood through my face."

Mr. Mumbles meowed in response.

"Next time, we oughtta get you one of those cat caves so you won't have to keep scratching my face every time I wake up." Dan suggested to Mr. Mumbles, who meowed happily. "Good, now hang tight while I get your food."

Meanwhile, while Dan could go into the kitchen and fix something up for his cat though, he overheard some shouting coming outside his house.

"Hmmmm, wonder what's going on outside?" Dan raised his eyebrow.

Dan went to the door, putting his hand over his ear to hear better.

All Dan heard was laughing from a bunch of kids, followed by a dad telling his son:

 _"Nice work on the car! The nice gentleman will love what you've done with it!"_

"A car?" Dan replied. "Oh no, please don't tell me what I think it is..."

The malcontent suddenly went outside to see an entire group of teenagers and kids (which obviously looked like their mother and father) painting Dan's car! There seemed to be nineteen kids of each. Ten of them boys and nine of them were girls. Both of their boys, like their father, had matching polo shirts and slicked-to-the-side haircuts. The girls however had long horrible frizzy hair, dressed in usual long skirts which covered the legs, and shirts which covered the knees.

Dan wasn't taking any of this at all.

"MY CAR!" Dan screamed out while he ran to his beaten-down red vehicle. "What are you short-haired hooligans doing to my car?!"

"Oh hi, stranger!" The father happily said. "I hope you don't mind, but we've decided to give your car a little paint job! It's for a cause were doing to paint cars pink to raise money for breast cancer! I hope you like it!"

"Like it?" Dan's eyes bulged. "MY CAR IS FRICKIN' PINK! HOW CAN I LIKE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS SO AND WUSSY AND GIRLY? I HATE IT!"

"Mister, you know best that we can't be near language such as that." The mother said, informing the angry malcontent.

"And who are you two gonches supposed to be?!" Dan said to the mother and father.

"Oh, how rude of us, we forgot to introduce ourselves!" The father chuckled nervously. "I'm Jim Bob, and this is my wife Michelle! And next to you are our nineteen kids, there's Josh, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn and our youngest daughter, Josie! We're the Duggar family?"

"Wait a minute," Dan replied. "You mean to tell me that my car got vandalized by a pair of goody-goody neat freaks and their 19 kids? That's it, I'm calling the police and having all of your asses arrested!"

"Awww, someone looks like they need a hug!" Jinger blushed. "Let's all cheer him up by giving a group hug!"

Like a family, they all cornered Dan and stretched out their arms to him, giving him a hug. Dan tried his best to fight back, but the power of those hugs were too strong for Dan to fight back. Yet, that still didn't stop him from fighting.

"ICK!" Dan replied. "Get off of me, you greasy hillbillies!"

"Hey, there's another car at that Ninja Dave's place!" Joseph said, pointing to a car in the far left direction.

"Let's go paint it pink everyone!" Jim Bob declared to the family.

One by one, they finally got off of Dan and left. After their departure, it was just Dan and his newly painted pink car. He just looked at it and groaned in defeat.

"Well, at least my car didn't get ruined this time." Dan replied. "Only painted."

However, his relief didn't last long when all of a sudden...

...

...

...a flock of birds swooped in and took a flying crap around Dan's car, raining it with thousands of bird droppings.

This time, Dan went from shocked to pissed off in a matter of minutes.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Dan shouted out in agony.

However, those bird droppings weren't the only part.

On top of that, a baseball came down and crashed through the windshield of Dan's car, shattering entire glass everywhere around the seats. It was clear that Dan's statement from earlier was well more than wrong. It appeared that Dan's car was ruined after all. And it was all because the Duggars had to tip the dominoes all over Dan.

Dan wasn't gonna take this. He was fuming mad, he was gritting his teeth, his blood was boiling! And he had no choice but to go down on his knees, clench his fists tightly, and scream out loud and clear:

 _"DUG-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!"_

* * *

 **Uh-oh, I smell trouble coming for sure!  
**

 **What will Dan have up in his sleeve for the entire Duggar family?**

 **Something tells me this is gonna be fun to do for sure! Anyway, feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now!**


	2. Ch 2: Dan Plans Revenge

**"Dan Vs. The Duggars"**

 **Rated T for language  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with "Dan Vs." or that horrible awful show "19 Kids and Counting". "Dan Vs." and its characters are owned by Starz Media and "19 Kids and Counting" is owned (used to be owned) by The Learning Channel. Anyway, I thought of this not too long ago, and it's a crossover between Dan Vs. and one of my most hated shows of all time, 19 Kids and Counting. Hard to believe they're both owned by it's sister station, the Discovery Channel. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!**

 **P.S.: This is to all the Duggar bashers. I think you'll all be satisfied.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Dan Plans Revenge  
**

* * *

Both Chris and Elise were busy getting cozy on the couch, watching yet another episode of their favorite show, _19 Kids and Counting_. Nothing feels good than watching a family's adventures for the entire world to see.

"I'll tell ya, this feels so good." Chris replied.

"Got that right." Elise smirked. "I don't know how they can pull it off. I mean, having to raise 19 kids is a total responsibility."

"Yeah, imagine if we had to put up with 19 Dans." Chris shivered.

"Believe me, America would be in a lot of trouble." Elise smirked, wobbling her knee a little.

However, the two didn't notice Dan's car pulling in their grass. Nor did they notice Dan's car door shut in total anger.

And they didn't even notice Dan barging and stomping in their house with anger. So he stepped aside Chris and Elise's alone time by sitting in the middle of their sofa, therefore breaking them up. Finally, they managed to notice him.

"Dan, what the heck?" Elise replied.

"Sorry, I'm not in a good mood!" Dan shouted, not even looking at her at the least.

"Excuse me, but would you mind?" Elise said to Dan.

"Yeah, would you mind, Chris?" Dan asked his friend. "Leave and go make me a sandwich, I'm hungry."

"Actually, I was talking right at you, Dan." Elise said, forcing Dan to look straight at her.

"I know that! DUH!" Dan said, feigning a little stupidity. "I'm mad and pissed because some goody-goodies decided to paint my car frickin' pink! And was worse than that? They somehow managed to shoot a baseball through the back window of my car!"

"So?" Elise shrugged. "What's your point?"

"My _point_ is, Elise, I want revenge on those sick uggos!" Dan exclaimed.

Knowing where this talk was heading, Chris set his newspaper down and approached Dan.

"Okay, Dan, what is it this time?" Chris guessed. "Is it Donald Trump? The Utah Jazz? Justin Bieber? Bronies?"

Dan then shot Chris a scary glare. "The only thing worse than those four combined!"

"What is it?" Chris shrugged.

With such suspense, Dan let out a deep breath and named his culprits out:

"It was those damn Duggars!"

Somehow, Chris and Elise couldn't help but smirk and chuckle at Dan's answer.

"You're kidding, right?" Elise smirked. "You mean to tell me that you want revenge on the Duggars, all because they painted your car pink? That's the most hilarious story I ever heard, Dan!"

"It's not funny, Elise!" Dan exclaimed. "Those Duggars are nothing but a family of vandals who cause trouble! I'll tell ya, something's wrong with them!"

"You can't be serious about this, Dan." Chris cleared his throat. "I think the reason why they painted your car pink is because they're going it for a cause. It's actually National Paint Your Car Pink for Breast Cancer Day."

"Oh, really? More like 'Trash Your Car Day'!" Dan scoffed.

Suddenly, the angry malcontent noticed a showing of _19 Kids and Counting_ on the tube, and took in a huge offended gasp.

"Are you watching those greasy hillbillies?" Dan gasped angrily. "Not if I have anything to say about it!"

With an angry scowl, Dan reached for the remote control and pressed down on the channel section...

...

...

...

...but nothing happened. The same show remained on the tube.

"Hey, Elise, I think your stupid remote control's broken!" Dan snapped.

"Yeah, about that Dan, we're actually watching it on DVD." Elise told him truthfully.

"WHAT?!" He gasped.

"Yeah, me and Chris own all nine seasons of _19 Kids_." Elise told Dan again.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Dan whined. "How can you watch such trash as this?! This isn't entertaining, this is just damn boring! I rather watch _Population Control Johnny_ than watch this gravel!"

"Well, regardless of what you say about it, _19 Kids and Counting_ is a healthy show!" Elise exclaimed. "It makes you learn valuable life's lessons, they treat people with respect, and they're great role models for our families. I want to make sure when Chris and I start a family soon, we can protect our kids from the dangers they face."

"Life lessons my ass!" Dan said as he went up to the DVD player and pulled the disc out (Season 2, by the way).

And then, he threw it on the floor and stomped on it hard and nice, leaving the broken DVD in total pieces.

"Dan, what are you doing!?" Elise cried out to him.

"Showing what I'm gonna do to those damn hillbillies the next time I see them!" Dan scowled.

"You can't do that, Dan!" Chris exclaimed. "For goodness sake, they have kids!"

"Maybe I should teach them a lesson on how to solve problems, my way!" Dan exclaimed. "In fact, we should go find where they live so I can teach their kids what a true man's all about!"

"Good luck finding where they live, Dan." Chris rolled his eyes. "They actually live in Arkansas."

"Oh great, they live in a hillbilly state..." Dan muttered, clenching his fists.

"But as I usually remember it, they do travel on a big gray tour bus." Chris muttered.

"THAT'S IT!" Dan exclaimed.

Feeling an ounce of pride, Dan shook Chris's shoulders in a genius fashion.

"Chris, you may have the brain of a retarded ape, but you just have me a good idea!" He replied.

"I-I-I do?" Chris stuttered.

"We'll go find their lousy grey tour bus!" The malcontent suggested. "And when they expect it coming - _WHAM!_ \- down goes the hicks!"

"Dan, are you serious?!" Elise said with her hands placed on her hips. "There is no way I'm letting you beat up Jim Bob and Michelle in front of their kids!"

"Oh, blah-blah-blah your needs, Elise!" Dan scowled at Elise before turning back to Chris. "C'Mon, Monkeyface! Let's go kick some Duggar butt!"

"But what about the sandwich you wanted me to make for you?" Chris replied.

"Forget it, I wasn't that much hungry anyway..." Dan muttered.

Just like that, both Dan and Chris headed out for the door, leaving Elise all by herself, alongside a smashed copy of _19 Kids and Counting_ on the floor.

"I can definitely tell this is gonna end bad..." Elise muttered to herself. "At least I still have my DVD and the-"

However, she got cut off when she realized something was missing. That's when as soon as Chris and Dan took off, Elise shouted at them (mostly to Dan) from the window, saying:

"HEY DAN, DID YOU JUST STEAL MY REMOTE TO THE DVD?!"

* * *

 **Yeah Elise, I'm pretty sure Dan stole the DVD remote. But who am I complaining about?**

 **Anyway, next chapter is gonna be fierce! Will Dan bring in a wholesome beatdown to the Duggar clan? And will Chris, a.k.a. Monkeyface, have to clean up their mess?**

 **Feedbacks are appreciated! Until next time, same Warrior time, same Warrior channel! Peace!**


End file.
